I’m feeling like I’m falling behind

Hi, you,

Okay, so a lot of things happened recently

I shifted to Hyderabad for a bit to help my friend’s VC-funded AI Vid-Gen startup. It was my first time for a lot of things — flying alone, living alone, working a full-time job, managing my food, clothes, basically a ton of things — surprisingly I’m doing a half-decent job at it ngl

One issue which is thankfully averted was of meals — I’m a stickler for my healthy meals — thankfully the policy here for the moment is to just share the Zomato links and they’ll order your food, so I just share the links to healthy meals — salad bowls, South Indian Food, etc

I usually wake up at 9-10, reach office by 11, and then try to leave by 11-12, earlier it used to be by 1-2 AM, but now I’ve realised that even if I have to go alone, it’s fine — my health is more important than being scared of going alone at night

Anyway, this was not the important thing which I wanted to share w you, it’s just that everyday I realize that there are thousands of people who are doing so much better than me in different facets — 18 yr olds getting into YC, raising millions, having millions of followers, having “the time of their life” (can’t specify), yada yada, and dude, wtf am I doing

Neither am I having “fun”, nor enjoying life, not even raising money or whatever the fuck

Life just seems like a waste

Yk there’s this balcony in my room, it’s on the 8th floor, whenever I go on the balcony I honestly imagine myself jumping off. Ngl, I wouldn’t mind it, but then again the reason I don’t go ahead with it is that it’s really easy to get scared and be in your bubble, right now my death would mean nothing.

It’d be far more validating (to myself) if tomorrow I become the world’s richest person and then I commit suicide, atleast I’d be someone important, not a fucking loser