Emotions, from a distance

Feeling emotions from a first-person point of view is scary; unpredictable; laborious. Emotions are so fickle, relationships are so fickle, they're fragile

On the other hand, feeling emotions from a distance, ahh, yes, that's more up my alley.

I absolutely crave for the front row seat to somebody's life, be it through the medium of literature, cinema, or a godforsaken painting.

Be it heartbreak, joy, lust, I love being a safe distance away; away from the consequences; safe from the bumps on the road; away from the twists and turns that life has to offer.

Of course, it's a coping mechanism, a response to a buried trauma of sorts, but I relish it.

I do not want to fall in love, I do not want to experience the strong emotions that relationships offer, be it platonic or non-platonic.

I've distanced myself, emotionally, from every person I know. Be it family, "friends", or (ex) romantic partners.

I cannot handle emotions; I cannot process them. It's too much burden on my fragile heart.

Our lives are like a colorless canvas with a basic outline mapped out, and emotions are the color; they make our lives vibrant. Be it the nights we spend crying, be it the moments of euphoria we encounter.

We like to subdue the vibrance; we try to replace the streaks of grey with a whitener to blur the color, all the while forgetting the fact that the most colorful color, black, also contains hues of grey.

Hedonism, escapism, all are attempts for a temporary bliss, away from the "realities" of the world; a momentary escape from the challenges life has thrown our way; a moment alone, away from the demons we fight.