Cyclical

I made this playlist sometime back, just three songs, but these three songs have kept me company when frankly I had none, when no company interested me, or had any effect on me.

I’ve spent hours, and hours listening to these individual songs, and quite frankly, prima facie, I can in no way relate to any of them, or atleast shouldn’t be able to relate to any of them.

Two seem positioned towards a hurt, abandoned person, who has not been dealt the best hand when it comes to relationships, and one is for someone who’s faith in their god seems to be breaking, being tested to no end.

I don’t know why, but I find solace in these songs. It’s a mystery to me.

“You should take it as a compliment. If I were you, I’d be more confident”

I somehow, for whatever reason, feel so happy when I hear this line. Pretty lies. I imagine as if someone were to be saying it to me.

Anyway, it’s so cyclical, these bombarding feelings on mine, when life feels meaningless, when I feel meaningless.

When I start comparing myself to everyone I’m mentally in a race with, though it makes no sense to compare myself to them, but still, from BS to CR to AK, to anyone and everyone — If i were to compile a list, it’d probably be a minimum of 100 names.

Times when I just try to find a distraction, a distraction from my thoughts — I choose to consume Netflix all day long, or sleep all day long, and escape my duties & responsibilities.

I just want to cry my sorrows away, with the comfort of some liquid love, and actually, you know it’s pretty easy to notice when I’m going through these bouts of “depression” — I just start making these cathartic, meaningless posts on this stupid website

Anyway, back to binging House of Cards (on the last season, binged everything within a maximum of a week, lmao — loved it)