Comfort and a world of dreams

June’25 has sort of been a pretty melancholic, bitter-sweet month for me. One thing that remained constant though; seeking comfort through these troubling times by sleeping quite literally all the time.

I’m stuck with this dilemma—should I continue living this life which I’ve been leading for the better half of the month; revelling in ignorance and enjoying living a life of lies—a made up, imaginary world which provides me comfort, or should I, finally, put an end to this?

Isn’t that the choice we all make?

We can stop everything, and start comparing our situations with others’—noticing how unfairly life has dealt us our cards. Living life with more of victim’s complex—victim to life’s humor.

Perhaps, instead of taking the previously mentioned path, we take a stock of the cards we have been dealt, and try to proceed anyway.

This is exactly the point where I am at; right before the paths diverge into their our journey.

Since the past month, I’ve been comparing myself with others whom I know, and envy. People who have certain desirable traits; certain cards which I would have loved to have, and then using this made-up sadness as an excuse to be, quite frankly, unproductive, and crying my days away, with the hope of seeking the comforts provided by my vivid dreams. Vivid dreams filled with my fantasies, where anything and everything happens. It’s so enchanting, mesmerising even.

Everyday, it’s the same thing. Same routine.

It’s so comfortable though, to give up your ambitions, stop working, and blame everything on the cards you’ve been dealt.

“Maybe If I was born into a family with a better socio-economic background, maybe if I was born taller, maybe if I was from a better school…”

I guess now it’s my chance to make the choice on whether I will let my life wither away in this rottenness.